HOW TO STEP UP IN LOVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE
=OBA SAMUEL
In tone of my previous writ-ups where I shared on the topic: ‘When your marriage needs urgent attention,’ the response I got from it prompted me to do a follow-up teaching in order to bring a balance to it.
Many couples have stepped down in love activities in marriage and thereby fallen out of love .Stepping down in love’s activities among couples may lead to the internment of their marriage. Make effort to step up in love ,grow your love again.Enough of living together without living in love.
1.Stop The Cycle Of Negatives :Nothing causes emotional disconnection, loss of affection or divorce in marriage like negative activities between couples. Negative attitudes like hostility, yelling at your spouse, pointing accusing fingers at one another ,malice, criticism, retaliation, verbal/physical abuse, sexual denial, infidelity(any sex away from your spouse is the cheapest way to contact HIV/AIDS } and Identifying these negatives in your union is not as important as getting rid of them .
2.Bridge The Gap:Don’t be a distance runner in marriage, make it a relay. If you must run(travel), make it a relay.Go for a short while and be back home quickly. Don’t permit marathon race in your marriage because the longer the distance, the weaker the marathoners. This means that the longer the months or years you spent away from your spouse, the weaker your resistance to sexual temptations from the opposite sex.So many wives/husbands who were living far from their spouses has fallen into sexual relationships with opposite sex with whom they have developed emotional connections.That’s why the Bible says ” it’s not good for a man to be alone”.
3.Be a Pursuer:One of the major causes of lost of love in marriage is dormant life of some spouses few months/years after wedding. What make romance hot in courtship was because there was a pursuer.To nurture intimacy and retain emotional connectedness with your spouse, you need to go back to your pursuer’s role through positive activities like holding of hands, hugging ,non-sexual touching, hanging out together, giving gifts, positive surprises and many other things you did in the past that deepens your affection.
4. Prioritize Your Marriage :Deep and genuine love in marriage is not born by spontaneity, it takes time.Don’t be an “on & off” lover.Be consistent with love, create time for your spouse no matter how busy you are at work.Love takes time to grow and quality time is the food of intimacy.
5.Queenly/ Kingly Appearance:There is a way to appear to look appealing and attractive to your spouse. Try to dress nice and look your best in the sight of your spouse.Listen to your spouse’s comments about your dressing.Stop wearing what your spouse does not like.Dress smart and look inviting to your spouse.
Wives, dressing awkwardly may make you lose touch of what made him fall in love with you. in the first place.
6.Reconnect Daily:Why sexual reconnection is difficult for many couples is failure to reconnect after the day’s job before bedtime.
Make it an habit to reconnect after the day’s job .As soon as you arrived home from work, make sure you give yourselves a warm welcome hug,. Abandon every other thing (children, T.V, soap operas, phones, laptop )and focus your spouse. Sit down side-by-side ,eat together, be attentive to one another(there may be bottled-up issues, struggles, ill-feelings that you know not)and bathe together.Absence of this emotional reconnection is what make many treat their spouses as strangers during sexual advances.
7.Be Thankful :Many couples love battery has gone flat due to unthankful attitudes. Quite a number of husbands and wives are very sad and feel used due to ingratitude lifestyles of their spouses and this has led to emotional coldness and resentment.
Stop taking your spouse’s roles in your life for granted.Be intentional about your husband /wife contributions in that marriage. Thank him/her for support, encouragement, financial support, family upkeep, children’s school fees, car maintenance, fuel for generators, holiday allowance, gifts, among others.If couples could think, they will realize that they can’t pay for all what their spouses have done for them.Have you thank your husband/wife today? Go ahead and do it now.
8.Step up your bedroom game:Ignoring all the above points will cause disaffection which will affect your sexual intimacy but working on them will definitely has positive impact on your sexual life.
Couples, step up your game in the bedroom. Don’t permit your sexual life to go stale. Revive the passion, kick boredom out of your bedroom. Resets your romance buttons, go back into the love lab and horn your sexual skills. STOP waiting for your spouse to pursue you always for sex, turn the game around, be the pursuer. Say no to casual sex.Don’t just have sex because you’re in need of pregnancy. Have sex for pleasure, passion, emotional reconnection ,intimacy and covenant renewal.
Cast out sexual denial from your matrimony before it cast your marriage into divorce bin. Do something unbelievably romantic that will create your fond memories in the mind of your spouse.If you hate sex in marriage, you need help. Please, speak out!
Your Family Coach,
Oba Samuel
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