THINGS TO CONSIDER B4 YOU FIX A WEDDING
-By Oba Samuel
One of the major goals of every mature singles is to walk down the aisle this year.
Peradventure, you missed it last year, this year, you will hit it right and you will tie the nuptial knot very soon in Jesus’ name.
You must consider nine major things before you fix a wedding with any man/lady. Ignoring them may make marriage look like an oven for you instead of a haven. These are:
1.His Christian Status: Christian activities do not equate to it now.
You must be very sure that he is a genuine Christian otherwise he/she will become an automatic troublemaker for you in marriage.
If you are sure of his/her Christian Status, you must be prepared to worship and serve God together in the same church. This agreement will help to stabilize your union. Don’t even nurse the thought of serving God in different denominations.
2. Direction: Without direction, destruction is imminent. Regardless of your age, don’t seek to get married yet unless you’re very sure of the direction he /she is going and you agree with it. Are you ready to give total support to the purpose or career of that fellow? First, find your life if love is to last.
Marriage is a journey of two and two can’t walk together unless they agree.
3. Financial status: A committee of friends and family can contribute money for your wedding but nobody will raise money for your marriage.
Marriage is full of Bill payments and in the face of financial pressures, love is often weakened .
Knowing your financial status is key.
Do you have a regular source of income? Do you have the financial capacity to maintain a home? If no, don’t fix a wedding yet.
4. Must be satisfied with the original: Don’t rush to say ‘Yes I do’ without being sure of your satisfaction level. That is, you must be in love with the real face and not the make-up version.
Brothers, the make-up and Instagram face is different from the original face of the lady. Take time to meet in real life without the make-up before you make up your mind to get wedded lest you live in dissatisfaction all the days of your life. In marriage, you will live with the original and not the make-up.
5. Feel secure: Do you feel secure in this relationship? If you always feel threatened by another lady/guy in his/her life, pause and clarify this prayerfully through counselling before you take further steps.
6. Graduate: It is a journey into lifetime regrets if you marry a nursery school or Mummy’s boy. If you notice that he is fond of saying “My mummy said” that means he has not graduated from parental college. Getting married to such a man will bring your home under the jurisdiction of his mother and this will make him treat you like a second-class citizen in your matrimonial home.
The wedding should be put on hold now until he graduates from the University of Mummy. Otherwise, you will become a ‘family wife’
7.Learn to live :Have you consider the temperaments of this sister/Brother you are planning to wed? This us very crucial because temperaments determines the behaviours and character of that fellow. Without the knowledge of this, you will have lots of misunderstanding and disagreements in your marriage. To live harmoniously in marriage, you must understand the strengths and weaknesses of that person’s temperaments and learn how to live with them.
8.Proud of you: Marriage is different from courtship. Courtship is a short-distance race while marriage is a long-distance race. So, don’t go on a long-distance journey with someone who is not proud of you and whom you’re not proud of.
Does he/she accept your complexion, stature, family background, assets and liabilities? If no, remove the wedding from your agenda now. Don’t marry somebody you’re not proud of and anyone who is not proud of you else he will treat you like a foot mat
9.Control :I know that you are so intoxicated about getting married but in all your considerations, consider self control. If you are not equipped with self control, you will be out of control in marriage.
Are you in charge of your own emotions? When you are angry, do you set the hell loose with abusive language and unreasonable actions like hitting your partner, walking away, snobbish or long-term malice? All these are pointers to the fact that you lacked self-control which is one of the major ingredients you need to make your marriage work.
Don’t just work towards getting married, work towards staying married.
Your Family Coach,
Oba Samuel
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