EMOTIONAL PREPARATION FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
-Oba Samuel
The level of preparation before the wedding determines to a large extent the success or failure of a marriage.
Many prepare financially, physically, spiritually, materially, and domestically, but very few prepare emotionally.
Lots of marriages are in shambles today because of emotional failure . To stay connected happily in marriage, you must understand how to handle your emotions.
Emotional response determines love response in marriage.
1. Prepare to be hurt: Most singles in courtship nowadays have fun experiences together by visiting fun parks, gardens, and cinemas, singing love songs, and 24/7 chat on social media; laced with constant selfies. All these often make them oblivious that the fellow they love will offend them in marriage. Be emotionally prepared that he/she will offend you in marriage. No matter how deep your love is, there will be misunderstandings. Your calmness will help you to search out the understanding that is missing.
2. Prepare to forgive: So many couples whose marriages crashed within 1-2 years as a result of a lack of emotional preparation to forgive. Trivial issues that could have been settled with ease escalated to the point of divorce. Start preparing your heart to forgive your spouse no matter the offense. First Find your forgiveness button before you press the wedding button.
Not prepared to forgive is prepared to divorce.
3, Learn to keep your anger, nobody needs it: Part of emotional preparation is your ability to put your anger in check. Learn to control your anger now before you get married. Avoid unnecessary outbursts that are capable of your relationship. It is a sign of emotional immaturity for you to demonstrate excessive anger, only for you to regret it later. Stop being moody at all times and embrace a cheerful look.
4. Learn to accommodate other people’s shortcomings:”I can’t take a shit” and “I can’t take that nonsense” All these are pointers to a lack of emotional preparation.
Get this fact raw: there is no perfect spouse in marriage.So, prepare to accept and overlook your spouse’s mistakes or shortcomings.
Be careful of anyone who appears too perfect in courtship, he/she may be deceitful. Marriage is about assets and liabilities.
5. Add Apology to your grammar; Learn to say sorry, not only when you are wrong but also when you feel you are right. It takes maturity to apologise while claiming rights, proving a point is a sign of immaturity. Start by saying sorry to your friends and colleagues, to master it before marriage.
6. Speak to build: Even in the heat of anger, discipline yourself not to pull down your partner with your words. Abusive, hurtful, demeaning words, name-calling, cutting remarks, and criticism often kill affection in any relationship.
Rather speak to build. In marriage, words are a major building block that fosters unity and increases love, affection, fondness, and oneness.
Learn to appreciate, say please, and thank you, and avoid being judgemental.
You’re programmed for a successful marriage in Jesus’ Name.
Your Family & Relationship Coach,
Pastor Oba Samuel
