HOW TO PREVENT DIVORCE IN MARRIAGE
-Oba Samuel
“He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” Matthew 19:8
The crisis in your marriage can look so unbearable to the extent that you may think divorce is the only solution .
Note that ,divorce is ugly, it brings long-term psychological and emotional torture. What you termed to be good reasons for divorce will have ripple effects on your health, children, finance, spouse, parents, siblings and the society at large.
Instead of seeking for divorce as a solution to a sick marriage, consider the following positive options:
1.Seek and Obey Godly Counsel : “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety” Proverbs 11:14
When marriage is turbulent and it is as if divorce is the only option, such marriage can still be saved from the grip of divorce if the couplecan be humble enough to seek godly counsel.
Godly counsel aid emotional healing and every form of hurtful damage in the marriage.
The major challenge why divorce is prevalent among many couples is unwillingness to seek Godly counsel.
Others that do, seek counsel too late when the issue has become messy and also refusal to obey all counsellng instructions is the bane behind most failed marriages.
Don’t just seek godly counsel, but be humble enough to obey counsellor’s instructions .
Be calm and listen to the counsellor with a learner’s disposition and don’t argue or defend yourself , Do not talk until you are given the opportunity to talk.
Is your marriage hurting? Seek godly counsel now and obey it’s instructions.
Godly counsel will deliver your marriage from divorce cancer
2.Embrace Forgiveness : And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” Mark 11:25-26
Conflicts often bring bitterness, resentment, hatred, hurts, offences, retaliation, distancing and sexual denial among couples .
But husband and wife can overcome this, if they can give forgiveness a chance.
No marriage will end in divorce if couples can forgive each other and allow forgiven spirit take over from hurtful spirit.
Be determined to forgive your spouse regardless of the gravity of the offence.
Unforgiveness open doors for demonic attacks, sicknesses and diseases.
Let the Holy Spirit help you to get over the pains and never consider divorce as an option. You may need to see a therapist in order to help you overcome the trauma.
If you can’t forgive your spouse, God will not forgive you too .
3. Talk to Positive support system: Everyone need a support system, but be very careful of the kinds of support around you when your marriage is boiling and at the verge of collapse.
Hanging around those in difficult marriages or divorces will have negative influence on you .
The support system you need at this period are marriage defenders and not destroyers. You need the company of happy couples in a working marriage .
Surround yourself only with those who will encourage you to fight for the survival of your marriage and not those who will keep pointing to the negative attitudes of your spouse; thereby buying ticket for your divorce flight .
Such people are enemies of your marriage, run away from them.
No matter how bad your marriage may be, if you are surrounded with people who keeps encouraging you to stay married that God will touch your spouse, you will stay married .
4. Identify the major causes of crisis :For a marriage to move from romance to regrets, certain factors must be responsible for it .
Some of which could be :discontentment disrespectful, money, sex, in-laws interference, adultery, lack of quality time together, over commitment to career or ministry, non-supporting spouse, among others.
List all what your spouse has been complaining about over the years and take steps on how to improve on them
This negatives will not just disappear but you must be willing to work on yourself, to become better .
Most times, what people are looking for is not divorce but improvement in their spouse.
Be an improved version of yourself and your spouse will stick to you forever.
Don’t be over committed to your career, business, job or ministry to the detriment of your marriage. Set your priorities right.
.
5.Be accountable to someone :Don’t be too big to be accountable to someone.
Get a spiritual mentor with a working marriage and be accountable to him.
Someone whom you submit to, one who can correct, rebuke and call you to order if you are going in the wrong direction.
You need someone your spouse can report you to, whose instruction you obey regardless of your achievements in life and ministry .Do you have such?
*6. Do not think divorce:”For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” Proverbs 23:7.
Divorce does not start the day he/she announced it, it takes place in the mind first.
Delete the thoughts of divorce from your mind because if you think divorce,you will act divorce .
Stop thinking or threatening your spouse with divorce.
7..Willingness to save the marriage : Never think divorce is inevitable, be willing to stay committed to your marriage vows.
The first step to saving your marriage begins with a willing mind.
Make conscious efforts to turn things around.
Stop blaming your spouse, take responsibility for the state of your marriage.
In a bad marriage, if the husband is bad, the wife is not innocent too.
No marriage will end in divorce if couples are willing to work on their marriage
. Unwillingness is the reason many couples are wheeled into divorce courts.
THAT MARRIAGE CAN WORK IF YOU’RE WILLING .
8.Accept your spouse: Do not fall for satan’s trick by thinking that, there is someone better than your spouse out there.
NO! Your spouse is not an ordeal, don’t look for a new deal* .
Many who divorced their spouses to marry another fellow often end up regretting their actions .
It is dangerous to leave a known Angel and marry an unknown demon
.If the Angel in your spouse is not yet manifesting, that means, you need to work more on yourself in order to bring out the best in him/her.
No one is better than your spouse in beauty, carriage, support, prayers, communication, financial handling ,sexually and in every aspect of life.
Accept and celebrate your spouse, your marriage will get better.
Do not quit your marriage. .
9..Bring in a new atmosphere :You can turn the tense atmosphere in your marriage to a romantic atmosphere by writing out all the positive things your spouse did in the past ,remember all the exciting moments you have had together.
Trash all the negative records of offences that makes you hate your spouse by speaking hate speech against him/her .
Deal with anger emotions. Avoid arguments very early and don’t allow it to escalate.
10..Keep working on your marriage :That your marriage is heading towards divorce is a sign that you have not been working on your marriage enough and if you are not working on your marriage, it will worn out
. Divorce can creep into marriage slowly or speedily, be sensitive to your marriage.
Don’t just be spiritually sensitive, be marriage sensitive as well.
When was the last time you read marriage books,listen to marriage teachings or attends couples seminar with your spouse ?
If you divorce,Satan rejoices. But f you stay married, God is happy with you and heaven rejoices.
.Who do you want to make happy-satan or God?Put the devil to shame,don’t break that marriage .
Your Family&Relationship Coach
Oba Samuel
*Like our Facebook page Singles&Married* *Connect* *https://www.facebook.com/Singles-Married-Connect-115795236453594/*
Email:obasamuel09@gmail.com
