9 Types of People You’ll Meet in Marriage Conflicts
-By Oba Samuel.
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 27:14 NIV.
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but conflicts are inevitable. The way we navigate these challenges can make or break our relationships. Let’s explore 9 types of people you might encounter during marital disputes.
.They’re defined by their characters and responses to issues during conflict:
1.The Alarmist. They’re loud and vocal, turning every disagreement into a spectacle. Their children and neighbors might even know when they’re having issues.He can’t handle issues maturely without raising his/her voice.
Note:This is childish.You don’t have to shout to express your displeasure.If you’re fond of shouting during provocation; your spouse and children may be emotionally disconnected from you and avoid you.
In the heat of anger; speak with bedroom voice.
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2.The Silent Operator: Whenever conflict break out between a couple, the silent operator will not talk ,he/she may continue normal marital duties which will make the partner think everything is alright. They’re masters of passive-aggressive behavior, pretending everything’s fine while secretly seething. The silent operator is processing how to react in a way that the spouse will feel the pain.Commonest among the actions of silent operator is packing out of the house with children secretly to an unknown destination.
Note:’Boiling’ silently for months or years without having conversation with your spouse may have adverse effects on your health.Speak out or seek godly counsel.
3. The Reporter.The reporter on it’s own lacked patience to have conversation with spouse whenever there’s a conflict.They’ve got a running commentary on your marriage, sharing intimate details with anyone who’ll listen. Be it ;siblings, parents, friends, neighbours and whoever care to listen.
Reporting can make your spouse feel hurt and breed resentment. Be mature; stop reporting your spouse.Seek godly counsel from your Pastor or marriage counselor.
Marriage is not a media house, don’t be a reporter.
4. The Recovery Agent .If you have a misunderstanding or conflict with a Recovery agent; you had better apologise and make peace even if you’re the offended or risk losing everything he/she has given to you when love was hot.
The recovery agent will withdraw from you the car he bought for you; the shop opened for you; and if he has made you the manager of any of his business or estates; he will withdraw everything from you.This can leave you feeling empty and desperate to regain their favour.
Note:even if the issue is resolved; the bond is internally broken and oneness may never be achieved in that marriage as the partner will be striving towards having income of her own, building her own house and buying his/her own things
Whatever God used you to do or give to your spouse is a privilege.
5. The Right Withdrawal
:They punish their spouse by withholding affection, intimacy, and support. Withdrawing all marital and domestic rights from the spouse.Such as sexual deprivation ,refusal to give money for upkeep, password the decoder; change the Wi-Fi password ,hiding the car key in order to deprive the spouse access to them.
Note:Withdrawing everything that makes life comfortable for your spouse will paint you bad and delete you from his/her heart. as well as the children.
Address issues, don’t attack your spouse.Whatever God use you to do to enhance the life or business of your spouse is just a privilege. Don’t brag about it.
6. The Bulldog.The bulldog is a hot-temper person; he/she get angry easily. His volatile anger make him roar and beat the spouse.The wife and children trembled at the sound of his voice.
They’re full of joy and at peace when he’s not at home and their joy is depleted and tension soaked when he’s at home.
Note; that this attitude will turn you to ‘enemy of the state’ and your old age is at risk.
Please, calm down, talk and act like a friend and not like a terrorist.You need to see a therapist before it’s too late.
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7. The Online Broadcaster.To the online broadcaster; everything that transpires between husband and wife must be adequately reported on all social media platforms. This set of people are fond of sharing every detail of their marriage and private life on social media platforms. Often posting about conflicts, vacation, cars, house, parties, new phones/clothes, children, spouse, mood etc.
All you need to know what’s going on in their marriage is just to check the status or wall on WhatsApp or any social media platforms.
The secret conflicts with their spouse will be reported with pictures online which often escalate the issue and most times leading to separation or divorce.
Note:Let family issues remain at home and don’t take it to social media platforms .
8. The Bank.They hold grudges and find it hard to forgive, often using past hurts as a leverage in future conflicts.
His/her second name is unforgiveness .The bank’s heart is stone-coated ;i he/she doesn’t forgive.He will reject food; deny sex move to visitor’s room and stop communicating with spouse..
He/she will narrates everything to your children in order to poison their hearts against you.He/She’s vengeful and they Often end up living in isolation later in life.
But is this refusal to forgive really worth the cost to your relationship?
Note:you need the mind of Christ in order to forgive with ease.
If marriage must last; the atmosphere must be built on forgiveness.
9. The White Ambassador. They prioritize peace and harmony above all else, often sacrificing their own needs and well-being in the process.
The white ambassador will do everything to promote peace and avoid troubles and confrontations ,even though he is enduring pain of mental; emotional and physical abuse.
Life is sweet for the white ambassador if the spouse Is a lover of peace.But they may fall into depression; commit suicide or die as a result of domestic violence and physical abuse from the terrorist and abusive spouse because she may not speak out to seek help.
In the event of abuses and domestic violence, speak out; don’t lose your life at the expense of your marriage.
It’s not wrong to seek help.You don’t have to die in an abusive and life threatening marriage.
Let’s strive to build stronger, healthier relationships by recognizing these behaviors and choosing to be a growing and getting better spouse .
Your family coach,
Oba Samuel
