THINGS YOU WILL NEVER GET FROM YOUR SPOUSE IN MARRIAGE 

 THINGS YOU WILL NEVER GET FROM YOUR SPOUSE IN MARRIAGE 

-Oba Samuel

Too many youths and singles who were looking forward to getting married with pomp and pageantry to live a life of fulfillment, happiness, and total freedom from the life of singleness.

Truly, marriage offers the best anyone can wish for . But there are things you may never get from your spouse in marriage. Ignorance of these facts makes many get bitter and frustrated in marriage too soon.

1. SAMENESS: As you are eager to tie the nuptial knot, be aware that you and your partner will never be the same in marriage 100%. Jettison the seeming sameness you are exhibiting in courtship now which makes you think;you will think, reason and act the same way in marriage.

Your thought is, that you will be 100% the same.It is irrational to think so.

No matter how you try, certain factors such as gender differences, background differences, mood, exposure, and preference, among others will not permit sameness in your union. Instead of looking for sameness that never exists, celebrate your uniqueness. 

2. COURTSHIP ROMANCE: Many people get disappointed a few months into marriage when their so-called romance dwindles. 

This is a hard truth but it must be told. Spontaneous poems and romantic activities that depict ‘’madly in love’’ during courtship most time have short lifespans.

 Courtship romance is based on emotional excitement and unconscious efforts while marriage is reality-based; influenced by job challenges, pregnancy, delivery, finance, parenting, and the day-to-day stress of daily living. All these may not allow him/her to continue at the same level of love displayed during courtship. 

Love demonstration in marriage is a deliberate act. You have to be intentional about it in order to transform the romantic love of courtship into a committed love of intimacy in marriage.

That’s why,I keep writing to remind couples about their marital requirements and organising couples’ programs to rekindle the romance in marriage. 

3. PERFECT PERSONALITY: The joy of being engaged with Mr./Mrs. perfect may be short-lived because it will not go beyond courtship. So, it’s like chasing the wind if you expect it exactly like that when you get married. 

Many times, lots of people demonstrate their best in courtship by going the extra mile to make you happy, read your mind, and act swiftly to satisfy your longing, apologising without stress, impeccable appearance and not getting provoked no matter what you say or do. This is done most times to win a suitor but not in marriage. 

In marriage, he/she will be in imperfect mode. That is why you will see emotional outbursts, anger, a show of displeasure, unwillingness to apologise, making mistakes, selfishness, and private dirty lifestyles, among others. This does not mean that you are mismarried, it only signifies that there is no perfect human being. Marriage is a relationship between two imperfect people working towards perfection. 

4. STATIC IMAGE: Nothing is static, nothing is permanent in life. The only thing that is constant in life is change. The current shape and stature of your fiance/fiancee is so appealing to you now that it sends you into a joyous and  frenzy mood whenever you see him/her.

Note that this current image is in the process of transformation because the man may increase in size and also develop pot-belly while the lady may put on more weight which will make her bigger and fatter than what you fancied in her during courtship. 

Have you ever noticed how pregnancy often turned slim girls to three times their normal sizes and it may never get back to the original state after many baby deliveries.

Get married to the person and not to the stature.

5.JOY:As singles, no matter what life is throwing at you now, face it with optimism and never see marriage as an escape route because nobody can make you happy.

For someone so sad and moody now thinking that, once you get married, you will be happy; it’s a false belief. Marriage doesn’t produce joy. It’s only when two joyful people married that they bring joy into their marriage and when two sad fellows get married, they will build a mortuary marriage

Only God can truly make you happy, don’t let your happiness be tied to your spouse because he/she can make mistakes, offend you and some challenges can occur in marriage that may dampen your morale. So, let your joy be tied to God. Have deep fellowship with the Holy Spirit who is the manufacturer of true joy.

Please share this with all your contacts.
Your Family Coach,
Oba Samuel