QUESTIONS TO ANSWER BEFORE YOU CHECKOUT OF A RELATIONSHIP
-Oba Samuel
“If the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put to more strength: but wisdom is profitable to direct”
Ecclesiastes 10:10 KJV
Starting and building a relationship takes a lot from parties involved.
It takes lots of emotional deposits, hours, minutes, seconds, months, year (s),communication, visits, spending, prayers and lots more before a relationship can be built .
After all these investments, breaking it should not be done abruptly without careful considerations.
Before you check out of that relationship, ask and answer these questions sincerely :
1.Do I feel sad most of the time? :
Being in a relationship with the right person naturally generates joy and excitement
But if you’re in a relationship and you always feel unhappy, sad and dejected, then something is fundamentally wrong
.It’s either your partner is engaging in annoying behaviours consistently or the Holy Spirit may be passing you a message that you should quit now because dangers lies ahead and He will not go with you.
It is better you pause for a while and clarify things before you go ahead.
2.Am I getting emotionally disconnected ? :
Emotional connection is the attachment bond that make two lovebirds inseparable, fond of each other and eager to get wedded.
If you are getting emotional disconnection despite the fact that he/she has not offended you But trying his/her best to demonstrate love to you and yet you keep losing your emotional bond with that partner of yours.
It’s dangerous to go ahead if this persists.
3.Have I identified the problem :
The fact that you are no longer getting along well with your partner is not an indication that you should just break the relationship because starting a reliable relationship is not that easy.
Take time to identify what went wrong.Identifying a problem mean you are halfway to the end of it.
These problems can either be big or small issues. The big ones are critical issues which can not be ignored.
Examples of such are :ungodly, divine warning, lack of trust, cheating, zero communication, total withdrawal, alcoholism, smoking, already married, secret child and deceit, among others .
But don’t let small problems like heights, stature hair, beauty, state of origin, finance, lack of visitation, etc destroy your bigger picture.
It’s better to fix the right and sick relationship than to break it and end up regretting latter.
4. Have you made efforts to work on the problem?
You may think the problem is so serious and it’s better to back out .
But what efforts have you made to resolve the issues? If that lovey-dovey must be restored into that relationship, both of you must be willing to take positive actions towards restoring friendship and affection.
If only one of the parties is making all the efforts without any input from the other party; he/she will get frustrated with time.
5.Am I fair enough? :
Being fair enough means that, you have giving him/her fair hearing.
It is erroneous to just conclude without taking time to sit down together with your partner to discuss. You need to hear from the mouth of your partner why he/she act the way he act.
It may not be what you think.
Hearing his/her own side of the story will give you a global view of the issues which may either give a life support to the relationship or fast track its burial.
6. Am I jealous of other people’s relationship?
Is your relationship truly unhealthy or you are comparing yours with the relationship of your friends or colleagues which is hot like Romeo and Juliet?.
You wish yours was like theirs and since you can’t achieve that; dissatisfaction sets-in no matter how your partner tries to satisfy you; you are never happy.
Please, be informed that no two relationships are thesame. So, don’t break your relationship based on this.
Stop comparing your relationship with others.
7.Is that the best solution? :
Although, it’s not every relationship that can be worked upon or lead to wedding but you must be sure that the decision to checkout is in your best interest and you must be ready to handle the emotional trauma that accompanying breaking of relationship.
8.Is this the right time?:
You must understand the right timing.
Having the understanding of when to hold on to relationship and when to let go of relationship that is not working will save you from marital lockdown and future tears and regret.
9. Have you prayed?
Breaking a relationship is not a child’s play .
Don’t take that step without involving God.
Ask God what to do next, seek godly counsel before you call it quit lest you regrets later in life .
Please share to all your contacts.
Your Family & Relationship Coach,
Pst Oba Samuel
Like our Facebook page Singles&Married Connect https://www.facebook.com/Singles-Married-Connect-115795236453594/
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E-mail:obasamuel09@gmail.com>
