BODY LANGUAGE AND YOUR MARRIAGE 

BODY LANGUAGE AND YOUR MARRIAGE 

-Oba Samuel

“And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem”

Luke 9:53 KJV

Research has shown that words form only 7% of our communication with anyone including your spouse. Tone of voice accounts for 38% and Body language -55%.That’s why it’s expedient to study body language. 

Sometimes, bodily miscommunications are the trigger of conflicts in marriage. At times, they hardly even register in your conscious mind, but your body is intuitive, reading and reacting to these signals whether you know it or not.

You can boost the affection, passion and intimacy in your marriage by understanding the body language.

 Every part of the body communicates. Yes! They do. Let’s study them:

1. Face:

Facial expression is key to the state of your marriage. 

Responding to your spouse’s happy face with a frowned face, lack of empathy or contempt will make your marriage more liable to fail.

The smiling partner will be forced to frown thereby throwing happiness out of the marriage. Make it an habit to smile together if you truly want a happy home.

Make regular eye-gazing your lifestyles: Eye-gazing between husbands and wives create romantic and intimate feelings. Do this at least 3 times in a week.

If your spouse is talking to you and you’re watching T.V,reading, chatting on phone or looking  at different directions, what your body language is saying is, you have no value before me. It’s disrespectful. 

• HEAD:

The head movement communicates two different things:

1. Speedy head movement :Nodding your head too fast while you’re having conversation with your spouse is telling him/her that you’re no more interested in what’s been said or you’re tired of what your spouse is saying. 

• Slow head movement : When you nod your head slowly, this is telling your spouse that you’re interested and listening with rapt attention to what he/she is saying. This gives positive vibes that keep the conversation going lovingly. 

3.HANDS

Let your hands lean on your spouse: This communicate acceptance, affection and that you’re fascinated with what/she is saying. If you push him/her to avoid body contact, it communicates rejection.

Rejection is the most painful thing in marriage. 

Folding arms: Folding your arms across your chest depicts turn off. That is you’re not interested in the discussion and if your spouse continues, you won’t pick anything because your mind is not there and you’re burning with critical opinion with which you want to attack your spouse. 

Holding of hands: Caressing of  hands releases the feelings of trust, cuddle hormone -oxytocin and boost dopamine which is a reward hormone.

• LEGS

Walking side by side at thesame pace with your spouse connotes bonding. While walking at different direction or steps ahead of your spouse signify emotional disconnection. 

Walk therapy: To diffuse anger, agree to walk out together holding hands. This will diffuse anger feelings and release happy hormones through exercise. 

↕In the face of arguments, don’t make it an habit to always walk out on your spouse because this may heat up anger the more as it connotes lack of respect and disdain to your spouse. Instead, let your facial expression reveal your displeasure.

But if the atmosphere is tense with heated arguments, wisdom demands that you walk away to avoid physical abuse.

Daily Interaction: Loving couples engage in daily non-verbal interaction which can be a look, a touch, a brief gesture-any body language that tells your spouse “I care about you and want to be connected to you” According to John Gottman;”when one partner consistently does not respond to the other other’s bid,it can be an indication that the love connection between the two is diminishing. 

BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX: Such body language includes: The use of bedroom voice/softer tone, men most often use physical closeness by getting into their spouses’ personal space, smiling, subtle laughter and romantic touches. Subtle touch can create sexual arousal.

Asking for a massage, dressing seductively or going to bed unclad. Also holding hands, arms around the shoulders and sitting together cuddling are great signs. But not limited to these, study your spouse and discuss with him/her your romantic body language. 

N.B Read the part 2 of this topic: