7 Vital Things Couples Neglect That Destroys Intimacy
– Oba Samuel
In many marriages all over the world, love songs have turned to dirge or ‘lamentations’ and the enrollment into divorce academy is growing rapidly to the extent that its becoming a trend, even among Christian couples* .
Any marriage where these crucial things are neglected may hit the rock without notice.
Intimacy will be an alien if these seven issues are not addressed and staying married will become almost impossible.
1.Neglect of the Inventor: In all invented products or drugs, you won’t get the right result except you follow the inventors formula.
Likewise in marriage, you can’t enjoy its great benefits if you neglect its inventor
Marriage is God’s invention ,manufactured by Him and which can only be sustained by Him .
So, neglecting Him in our marriages is a direct invitation to satan;the arch-enemy of solid marriage
. Strong relationships with God help build strong bonds between husbands and wives based on Biblical principles.
If you’re not in love with Jesus Christ, you can’t demonstrate genuine love to yours spouse .
Any marriage where, long-term malice, domestic violence, pornography, infidelity and divorce takes place is a home without the presence of God .
God is the life-time gum that can keep your marriage together forever. God is love ,if you depart from Him, love will depart from your marriage .
Note that when you’re spiritually cold, you will get angry easily and keep malice .
Pursuing ministerial success without marital success is tantamount to committing spiritual adultery which will lead to failure.
Do not put ministry before your marriage .
If you fail to work on your marriage, Satan will use it to wage war against your ministry .
It is not a Christian home if Jesus is not the one directing its affairs
2.Neglect of Couple’s prayer:. “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour .
*For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up .
Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?*
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.Eccl.4:9-12
Constant couples’ prayers is what oil our relationship with God. Its a sign of our reliance on Him to deal with our weaknesses, help us accept our spouse, love unconditionally and get our needs met* .
Praying individually is good but as couples, it’s more rewarding to pray together because it’s a covenant prayer.
It brings you closer to God and it fosters unity and intimacy .
That is why the devil will make sure you don’t pray together as husbands and wives* .
3.Neglect of Livewire: Positive communication is the livewire of a successful relationship and lack of it is a major destroyer of intimacy* .
When couples talk willingly, affectionately and consistently, their marriage will be in healthy state and they will be able to address any challenges without breaking their bond.
With this, friendship, cuddling, togetherness and fulfilling sex will be an icing on their marriage cake.
Where there is communication breakdown, ‘official communication’ lies and half truths will be an order of the day and there will be resentment , suspicion and intimacy will be on exile and constant misunderstanding will daily occurrence.
Unfortunately, most couples stop talking heart-to-heart after the honeymoon, many talk with friends, ministers and elders in the Church than they do with their spouse.
4.Neglect of Friendship: “a friend loveth at all times” Prov.17:17 Isaac was sporting with Sarah” Working marriage is a deeper friendship but most marriages are shallow in friendship.
True friendship is the reason some marriages work and lack of it make many fall apart.
Solid friendship is the foundation of good relationships between husband’s and wives.
Marriage gets stronger when friendship thickens among couples.
Marriage easily ends in divorce when couples lose friendship.
Make effort to nurture friendship between you and your spouse else frustration will set in and sex will be a grudge match.
5. Neglect of Kindness : Marriage is an admission into a lifetime kindness towards your spouse .
Unfortunately, many are not demonstrating kindness towards their spouse in marriage that’s why we keep seeing wife doing all the domestic chores alone without the support of the husband.
It is also the neglect of kindness for a wife not to support the husband in paying some domestic bills ,while she is working.
When you give your clothes to the launder and neglect your spouse’s, you have neglected kindness, selflessness and sacrifice.
You are not kind in that marriage if all you do is to make your spouse feel sad or weep.
It is high level of neglect of kindness in marriage if you keep depriving your spouse sex with a lot of flimsy excuses because this will expose him/her to temptations.
To be kind means to sacrifice your time, comfort and resources for the wellbeing of your spouse.
The more someone receives kindness, the more they will be kind themselves.
6.Neglect of Shared interests :Many couples enjoyed their courtship period more than their marriage due to shared interests in reading books together, picnics, Christian gatherings and hanging out together* .
Few months/year’s after wedding, all these fizzle out as they are now face with individual interests
It is a difficult task to see couples shares thesame interests in church programs, prayer, Bible study, games, T.V, food, leisure time, among others .
This divided interest has led many couples to the point of married but living single
Make efforts to rekindle shared interests with your spouse because it encourages time together, deep communications, fondness, passion, unity and it makes marriage tick .
7. Neglect of Sex: Sex is marriage super lubricants .
Without it, marriage will be rocky and the engine of marriage will knock
It is so sad that many couples are suffering in marriage today due to neglect and misuse of sex. I have seen husbands & wives depriving their spouses sex in marriage .
No marriage can be healthy where there is sexual deprivation or sexual dissatisfaction
Denying your husband sex every night can make him fall into the hands of ‘saintly prostitutes’ in churches or executive run girls in his office.
As a wife, it is a risk to yield to your husband’s sexual advance only when you feel like.
Arise, seduce your husband, take him to bed, be involved in the foreplay and keep him to yourself permanently.
Husbands, don’t go for porn and side chicks. Get all the sex you need from your wife at home*
This is a silent killer to many Christian homes. Don’t let it destroy yours, if you have sex related issues, seek counsel and get my book: Enjoying the benefits of marriage, Buy here https://selar.co/EnjoyingTheBenefitsOfMarriage
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Your Family Coach,
Pst Oba Samuel Like our Facebook page Singles&Married Connect https://www.facebook.com/Singles-Married-Connect-115795236453594/
