MAJOR THINGS THAT CAN SHAKE YOUR MARRIAGE TO IT’S FOUNDATION
-Oba Samuel
“Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, And look well to thy herds”.
Proverbs 27:23 KJV
In marriage,there’re minor and major challenges.The effect of major challenges can shake the marriage to its very foundation. Many marriage have not been able to survive the colossal effects of these major shake-up in their marriages.
Knowing these things and preventing them can give your marriage a lifeline.
These are:
1.JOB TRANSFER:The scripture is so clear on the principles of marriage of which states that “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”.
Genesis 2:24 KJV
One flesh means;they’re indivisible;single entity and inseparable beings.So,for marriage to be healthy, God does not make provisions for husband and wife to live separately. Many couples has broken this rule through job transfers to another town or city and they decided not to take their spouse along in order to take care of the children. The spouse on transfer will be living in a new terrain like a Bachelor or Spinster .And this often make the fellow vulnerable to extramarital affairs.At times,this may lead to polygamy.
Children left in the hands of a mother can go wayward because to raise a balance child, both parents must be available to do it together.
Beware! job transfer may ‘transfer’ the heart of your spouse from you if you don’t go together.
2.Search For Greener Pastures:The search for greener pastures otherwise known as ‘Japa’ can weaken or destroy the foundation of your marriage if you don’t handle it with wisdom.
In your quest for greener pastures in western world, do not jump at any opportunity to travel alone and leave your spouse behind with the plan to work out papers for him/her to join you later.
Unfavourable immigration laws,cold weather condition,sexual temptations and pervasion in most western world have made many fall into extramarital affairs and second marriages which causes heartbreaks and betrayal to the original spouse.
Only very few get reconnected back to their spouse abroad.
Don’t succumb to pressure of relocating abroad if your spouse is not included.
3.Dictatorship :Controlling and dictatorial spouse can make life frustrating in marriage. These two are like siamese twins which can make one lose freedom and live like a refugee in marriage.
Such marriage is devoid of affection, friendship and playfulness .This may resort to regrets,hurts ,emotional torture and rebellious actions that will cause arguments, violence and separation.
4.Dark Secrets Unveiled :”For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops”.
Luke 12:2-3 KJV
Honesty is a major foundation in building a lasting marriage while lack of it is an invisible bulldozer that can destroy the foundation of any marriage .
Dark secrets like ;secret child out-of-wedlock; sexual immorality;extramarital affairs;secret assets,criminal activities,charms,witchcraft activities, among others
All these are capable of tearing a marriage into pieces.
If you have any dark secrets that you’re hiding from your spouse;seek godly counsel on how to handle it now before it become a disaster. Note that,you can’t hide it forever because truth is like a flame;it will find it’s way out no matter how long.
5.Domestic Violence:
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;
Acts 3:19 KJV
Domestic violence has become major termites that has eaten the fabrics of several marriages globally.
Many has suffered fracture,incapacitated, emotional torture,depression and untimely death due to domestic violence.
If you’re trapped in a marriage of domestic violence; do not keep quiet.Speak out;seek help from your counsellor, Pastor or government agencies like public defenders.
Domestic Violence is a threat to life,do not conceal it.Open up to save YOUR life,You need life to be in marriage.
6.Infidelity:
Eccl 7:29“Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.
Scandal and infidelity can be very devastating that several marriages don’t survive it.
Infidelity is so rampant nowadays due to the presence of internet which is just a click away .This make it easier for people to chat and cheat on their spouse go into emotional affairs with the aid of phones and social media platforms like Facebook Whatsapp, Twitter,Tik-tok,among others.
No reason is good enough to push you into extramarital affairs because,it’s a sin against God and the consequences upon detection will have devastating effects on your marriage.
Are you trapped in an extramarital affairs and you don’t know how to quit or your affair partner is threatening you with scandal if you quit? Fear not,seek counsel on how to break free from this destructive lifestyle.
7.Sexual Challenges:You can’t have a lasting marriage and marital satisfaction without finding solutions to sexual problems.
Sexual challenges such as primary impotency;secondary impotency,infertility, premature ejaculation, low libido,lack of orgasm,marital rape,
Sexual deprivation;sex addiction ,etc .As well as sexual pervasions like oral sex,anal sex,masturbation ,barter sex ;strongman’s sex,among others are weapons of marriage destruction if not handled quickly .
Note that ,there’s no sexual challenges without a solution but the problem is that many keep it secret and allow things to get worse in their marriage.
Seek godly counsel and read good books which addresses sexual problems in marriage. Our book-Enjoying the Benefits of Marriage is highly recommended.
Don’t give up on your marriage,be willing to make it work.
Your Family &Relationship Coach,
Pst Oba Samuel
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