7 THINGS TO LET GO FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO WORK
-Oba Samuel
“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ” Phil.3:13-14
Marriage is an instruction-based relationship .For it to work, some instructions must be followed. Letting go is one of its major instructions that will make things go well in marriage and relationships.
What to let go:
1. Mindset of a perfect spouse: If you must build a strong marriage that will last a lifetime, let go of the mindset of marrying a perfect partner.
In the real sense, perfect husband/wife does not exist. You are not perfect either, so stop looking for a perfect partner.
It’s this mindset that makes many to marry expecting flawless and perfection in their spouse.
Such often bring dissatisfaction after getting exposed to the reality of imperfections in their spouse and the next move is thinking about how to ‘fix’ him/her.
Accept and celebrate both the weaknesses and strengths of your partner, but where you noticed red flags like, beating, alcohol drinking, smoking, etc, see your Pastor or counsellor.
2. Let go of comparisons: We are always tempted to compare our partner and relationships with others whenever we see what we admires in someone else .
Please, know that there’s no perfect person anywhere and your judgment is not 100% right because you’re seeing it at a distance. When you get closer to them, you will know better.
Stop comparing your partner with anyone. The more you compare, the more you will become more dissatisfied with your partner.
Many relationships would’ve worked but for comparison.
Just focus on making your relationship better.
3.Let go of your past: Let go of your past errors and hurts. If you keep on holding to your past, it will damage your future.
After a ministration in a church recently, a lady walked up to me and said “for someone like me who lost her virginity because of one doughnut and a bottle of soft drink, I don’t think it is possible for a godly man to marry me” This is a sign that she is still nursing the hurt of her past.
God has open a new page for you ,stop using the experiences of your past relationship to deal with your present partner.
Let go of every past misunderstandings and issues. Forgive sincerely and move on with a plain mind.
4. Let go of self: Being a ‘self manager’ will upset your partner consistently.
Self-focus, self-manager and self-centeredness is a sign of self-marriage and selfishness. Which means you will only concentrate on your personal needs and welfare while you ignore the needs of your partner. That is an anti-love habit.
True love is about caring for your partner.
Not willing to let go of self is a sign that you are not ready to build a successful marriage because marriage is not for self-isolation, it is for companionship.
Marriage is a place of service.
5. Let go of your Ex: One of the major threats to a successful marriage is attachment to your ex.
That you are still in-touch with him/her can cause serious conflicts between you and your partner. Especially, if your partner is one with a boiling jealousy.
You shouldn’t be the adviser or counsellor of your ex. Calling your ex often or asking him/her for money is tantamount to emotional infidelity.
You don’t have to be enemies and you don’t have to be ‘friends’ too. Please, give each other gap because your getting along can serve as a threat to your marriage.
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6.Let go of being right: The attitude of being always right can tear two lovers apart no matter how long they have been in the relationship.
You will ruin your marriage without stress if you have the habit of being right or you always want to prove your partner wrong. This will generate lots of arguments and constant conflicts.
Get angry with yourself and let go of being right always because everybody want to be heard in relationship.
.Listen to other people’s opinions, give your partner a fair hearing and you will discover that you too can be wrong. Nobody is perfect, that is why two are better than one.
Only God can be right always and no human being is made in that fashion.
7.Let go of pride: Pride is the offshoot of most conflicts in marriages and relationships .
Marriage works easily when both parties are humble and flexible.
A Proud man can easily become a dictator who will treat the wife like a prisoner of war. While a proud lady will not respect or submit to her husband.
Proud people don’t submit to any authority, they are in self-government that’s why they disobeyed parents, mentors and church protocols.
Please, let go of pride and build a working marriage.
Your Relationship & Family Coach,
Pst Oba Samuel
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