FORMING SEXUAL ENJOYMENT HABITS AS COUPLES

-By Oba Samuel

Psalm 32:8

To some couples, sex in marriage is a painful ,uphill task and full of displeasures.

But this is far from general experience as there are lots of husbands and wives who are having great time in their sexual lives.

Wondering how they are doing it? They have formed sexual enjoyment habits; which are:

1. They don’t watch Porn: Many couples erroneously believed that watching pornography pictures and films will help them spice up their sexual life, but this is far from the truth as it will do more harm than good.

Porn will expose you to unrealistic expectations from your spouse which is not attainable in the normal sex life. Many do not know that porn is a film and the people involved are actresses and actors, it might not be shot once or twice before the desire of the director is achieved.

Porn addiction can make men lose interest in real sex with their wives, make them lose erection and get trapped in masturbation.

2.Care for each other :Couples who care for each other get more intimate and enjoy pleasurable sex.

Sexual enjoyment may be difficult if you don’t enjoy each other’s company as friends.

If you are living like cat and dog, it will be impossible for you to stay together as love birds in the bedroom. Be a caregiver and not a care receiver.

3. Update and upgrade: To keep enjoying hot and romantic sex, Couples need to keep updating and upgrading their knowledge on sex regularly through Couples’ seminars, marriage books written by Christian authors.

Sexual knowledge can be lost and romance can be outdated if not upgraded.

Take time to learn about each other’s erogenous zones, what turns you on and educating each other about areas to touch, level of touch that really stimulate you. By all means, improve and be better.

4. Make it Regular :Leaving sex out of your marriage weekly or monthly will turn your body to sexual aliens whenever you want to return to intercourse.

Regular sex is like an oil to the engine of your marriage, it lubricates.

Ageing make it difficult for the body of women to respond to foreplay while it also make erection difficult for men.

Regular weekly sex will help lower your vaginal dryness and connect to sexual passion quicker than couples who abstain from sex for too long. Please, create time for regular sex with your spouse in marriage.

Don’t let each week pass without sex in your marriage.

5.Study to understand your spouse :If sexual enjoyment is your desire in marriage, then you need to study and understand your spouse’s sexual stimulants ,moods and act accordingly in order to get the best sexual experience.

Men get into sexual mood quickly, but women need to be studied to know where the ignition is before you kick starting the engine.

Many husbands who complained that their wives are not interested in sex is as a result of not knowing the right spot where the ignition of their wives is located.

6. Go to the lab regularly: Sex in marriage can become boring if couples stick to one particular way of having sex.

To spice up your sexual life, learn to take your sex life to the laboratory by experimenting new ways and styles in sex.

Sex is dynamic! Approach sex through different routes, become unpredictable, try sex from different angle and don’t be rigid with the same style. New moves, touches and different sexual positions will bring new erotic feelings and romantic pleasure into your marriage.

7.Get Support : Lack of sexual pleasure can make your spouse lose sexual interest .’Quickie sex’, sex outside the amorous period, premenopausal and menopausal signs can make sex painful and odious to wives.

To avoid such, get sex support through pillow to aid penetration /comfort and lubrication to relieve vaginal dryness .Water based lubrication is good To achieve maximum sexual pleasures .Avoid chemical based lubrication.

8.Be open: Being open and honest to your spouse about your sexual stamina and fantasy aid sexual enjoyment and avert bedroom battles.

Feel free to inform your spouse if you’re battling with virginal dryness, loss of libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and any other sexual deficiency .

In case of any sexual inability, don’t fight each other over it, but team up to seek for possible solution through your doctor or counsellor.

Don’t be too shy to speak out because you’re not the only one having such challenges .

Speak out and rediscover your sexual stamina back. It is our duty to treat your case confidentially.

9.Sensual touch: Many couples do not understand the power of sensual touches with their spouse. Explore how different touches arouse your spouse sexually, bring you closer and make sex more exciting and pleasurable.

Touches help couples to build connection outside the bedroom. Touching, sucking the breasts and clitoral touches give room to easy penetration and orgasm.

Wives, it is a crime against ‘bedroomanism’ for you to hoard your breasts from your husbands’ touches.

10. Non-sensual Touch : Couples after honeymoon find non-sexual touch to be unnecessary, which is a big error against their bedroom life. Couples that have formed the habit of non-sexual touches find it easier to move to sexual touches.

A hug without any undertone can go a long way to relaxing each other’s body .A cuddle without going beyond that might help, a kiss while passing by might become a good ground to start from .A soft tap on the buttocks might be what your marriage need to kick start a vibrant sex life .

11. Either can drive: Sex in marriage is a two people’s game .It is boring, forceful and uninteresting if it’s only being initiated by one party.

To enjoy sex maximally, either husband or wife can initiate sex .This often bring new flavour and sexual satisfaction into it thereby building deeper intimacy and romantic sexual life.

When was the last time you initiate sex in marriage?

Were you turned down the last time you initiate sex and this has made you take a decision never to make the first move again?

Please, forgive and stop depriving yourself the enjoyment in sex when your body truly craves for it.

Please share to all your contacts.

Your Family &Relationship Coach,

Pst Oba Samuel

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