10 THINGS GUYS MUST POSSESS BEFORE MARRIAGE
-By Oba Samuel
Over the years,young ladies have been laboring to get themselves prepared before marriage than their male.To validate this point,check out around you and you will discovered that most Singles programs are flooded by sisters,most relationship and marriage books are bought by ladies and there are more sisters programs than brother’s.
Despite all these,marriages still fail because it is not a perfect job because most brother’s are ill-prepared.
If marriage must work,guys need to be schooled on what they need to possess before taking that damsel to the altar.
1.Don’t Date Jesus :To be a real man whose wife will appreciate God for bringing him into her life,you must not be dating Jesus Christ.
Yes! Stop dating Jesus, get married to Him.Develop a deep and inseparable relationship with Him that will reflect in all your thoughts and actions.
Get serious with God through solid relationship with the Holy Spirit through personal prayer, daily deep Bible study habits and be a committed worker in a living church.
It takes a man married to Jesus to marry one woman for life, avoid side chick, eschew evil and to be peaceful, lead a home well,cater for his family and give his wife and children rest.
Guys who date Jesus come to Church once in a while.They acknowledge God but most of their thoughts and actions are influenced by Satan .
Don’t get married until you have renewed your commitment with God.
Are you dating Jesus or married to Him?
2.Be determined :Don’t just think of strolling into marriage because of its glamour,get determination installed in your mind first .
It takes determination to make marriage work and stay married in the face of challenges.
Be determined to build a home and not a hostel.Be determined to make your marriage work and stay married no matter what happens.
Real men don’t quit their marriage but chicken hearted men opt out of their matrimony or send their wives packing.
Before you walk down the aisle,how determined are you to make that marriage work?
3.Be Diligent : Husbandhood and fatherhood is not for the weak-willed, it is for the diligent. So many wives and children are suffering in marriage today because of the lazy folks in their lives who can not earn a living for his family.
Don’t let sexual urge push you into marriage,marriage is more than sex.
It takes diligence to secure the future of children,put food on the table,pay house rents ,electricity bills,hospital bills,among others.
A diligent man will not just sit down to watch football and comedy skits but he will make every hour count by engaging in productive activities.
This kind of man is not depending on one source of income,nor is he depending on the wealth or affluence of his parents ,brothers or Uncles.
He believed in the dignity of Labour that is why he will not join the league of lazy youths who engage in yahoo-yahoo and other dubious businesses because of their get-rich-quick syndrome.
Mind you,diligence is not learned in marriage, it begins now!
4.Embrace responsibility, don’t avoid it:While growing up,I’ve heard people referring to some men as irresponsible.
There are too many irresponsible guys out there who only wants sex but hates the responsibility attached to it.That’s why you will see a teenage girl who is pregnant and selling pure water at bus stops fending for herself because the guy who is responsible for the pregnancy denied it or absconded with no traceable address thereby making the girl suffer.
To be a man is to embrace responsibility and not run away from it.
You have been in a relationship for many years and you have been avoiding the responsibility of wedding and marriage.
Learn responsibility by contributing to the academic costs of your younger ones or the needy around you.Take responsibility in the church you attend.Can your parents count on you?Can that lady in your life count on you so that you will not disappoint her? Can the organisation you work for count on you as a responsible staff? Can your friends count on you? Can your H,O,D and Pastor count on you as a responsible worker?
If no,don’t get married yet.You have a lot to do to become responsible. Responsibility makes a real man.
5.Be Financially Intelligent :Marriage can be tough in the face of financial challenges .Romance may turn into a wrestling rumble if a man can not provide for his family.
The truth most guys don’t know before getting married is that marriage often multiplies expenses. So,you need to be financially intelligent. To be financially intelligent means you know how to make money,save,invest and multiply money by making money work for you.
Unfortunately, most guys only know how to make and spend money.That is why they broke before the middle of the month. Learn to live within your means,spend below what you earn,save and invest .Have long-term plans. .Learn to delay gratification ,be financially disciplined to know what to spend and what not to spend in order to secure the future of your wife and children.
If your phone is worth more than your savings,there’s a “show-off” in your life and you are not financially intelligent.
Note that ,if you’re not financially intelligent, you will be wasteful; living only for today without a future.
6.Deal with guest mentality:Most single Guys are heading towards marriage with guest mentality where they will just sit down watching T.V while the wife will be busy serving all they need because it is her duty to do so.
Several wives are living in bitterness because the one who claimed to love them in courtship deceptively married them to enslave them because since they got married, he has handed over all domestic chores to her.
Change your mindset before you marry by reprogramming your mind that man should also be involved in domestic work .
In case, you are not trained to do domestic chores,train yourself to sweep,wash plates,clothes,cook,lay the bed and arrange the house.
It is a sign of wickedness not to give a helping hand to your wife.
Being domesticated will relieve your wife of stress and make her look younger and beautiful than her age.
7.Put sex in its place:It’s a known fact that we live in a sexualized society where sexual temptation is just a click away.Don’t be caught in the web of sexual exploration of premarital sex.
Sex before wedding wil make you sin against God and give you a distorted image of sex.
Never trade your glory for few seconds of sex.Avoid watching porn and make up your mind not to have sex until you are married and if you have been indulging in premarital sex with your partner, stop it and ask God for mercy.
Sex is better enjoyed in marriage ,wait for it till you have said “yes I do”
8.Get Vaccinated :Yes! You need vaccines but not COVID19 vaccination.
Get vaccinated with service.Once you go into marriage with a service mindset,selfishness will be destroyed totally from your system .
Selfishness is one of the major destroyers of marriage because your life as a Single man has revolved around yourself, thinking and taking care of yourself alone but this will affect your marriage negatively except you drop it and take up service as a lifestyle.
Develop service mindedness towards your marriage.Make up your mind to be selfless and serve your wife.For you to be an exemplary husband and father tomorrow, learn the art of service by serving people around you now.
9.Learn to be calm : Several wives in marriage are finding it difficult to befriend their husbands because they are too aggressive and hostile at home .
Meanwhile, many women wish for calm,caring and gentle husbands whom they can relate with freely without fear or coercion but this is far from reality in most marriages.
An ideal man is loving ,caring and calm with friendly dispositions. You don’t have to yell before you can get your voice heard or roar like a lion before you can prove a point.
No wife and children will love to share their lives with such a man. Learn to be calm while talking to people around in a bid to cultivate calmness before wedding.
Are you prone to anger and aggression? If yes,enrol first at the ‘calm men’s Institute’ before you take her to the altar.
10.Emulate Jesus: Marriage is beyond “yes I do” . It is a call to responsibilities and one of the vital work in marriage is parenting.
So many children are wayward today because many fathers failed to perform their parenting roles.
Make up your mind to be a responsible father by raising good and godly children.
Emulate Jesus ; be a good father in parenting by carrying and playing with your children as Jesus did for little children .Jesus was never too busy to attend to children .Create time to play with children around you and take care of them.
Can you fix diapers,feed babies or lull a baby to sleep ? If not,you’re not prepared to bond with your children, because bonding with children starts at infancy,not at adulthood.
With these points,you are on your way to becoming a man every lady wishes to marry. Congratulations for being one of such.
