Smart Ways to tell your Husband what you want in Bed

Recently, during a question and answer session in a couples’ program, a wife wrote this question in a piece of paper for me to answer.

I have been married for fifteen years and I’m not feeling good about sex at all because my husband doesn’t know what I actually want in bed and I don’t know how to tell him because I’m shy

Of course, I know that several women in marriage are battling with the same issue which has been depriving them the pleasures in sex.

To tell your husband what you really want in bed, the following points will be of help:

1. Have a doctor’s mentality

Every medical doctor either male or female see nothing special about opposite sex’s private part. That’s why they attend to any of the sexes without reservation. In fact, there are more male doctors in the gynaecology department than female doctors.

You need to think like a doctor in order to be free to tell your husband what you really want in bed without being shy. Don’t be scared or shy of asking what you really want from your husband, you’re his doctor. Feel free to ‘instruct’ and give him ‘prescriptions’.

Talk about your sex life the same way you talk about other areas of life. 

Until you inform him, you will not get everything you need out of sex.

 Sex in marriage is not shameful, it is holy and hot!

2. Identify your needs FIRST

In order to be able to tell your husband what you want, you must first of all identify what you need.

Do you want him to brush his teeth before kissing you? Do you always want him to bathe before sex, want him to suck your breast more or you prefer a particular style ?Whatever your needs are, open up to your husband.

3. Be Emotionally Connected

Sex is emotional. If couples are not emotionally connected outside the bedroom, sexual communication and connection will be difficult in the bedroom .

To be emotionally connected can be triggered by constant date nights, hanging out together, strolling hand-in-hand, bathing together, talking freely with each other, cultivating friendship instead of being official couples. Being emotionally connected will provide a platform for you to air your views.

4. Don’t make the GENERAL MISTAKE

Due to sexual dissatisfaction and hurts, most wives make this general mistake of condemning their husbands for not doing the right job in bed.

When you condemn or criticize your husband’s sexual performance, you will injure him psychologically and this may make him feel bitter and lose his sexual confidence. 

The wisest thing to do is to appreciate his sexual activity and then encourage him by telling him areas of ‘additions’ that adds fireworks to your sexual life. During and after sex, praise his performance even if it’s not up to your desired standard. 

With this, you have succeeded in pressing his improvement buttons and the return match will make you to moan with ‘thanksgiving’.

5. Write It

In most interviews, it’s either oral or written. Likewise in bedroom interviews, if you’re not good in oral, make use of the written to pass across your message to your husband.

Get a piece of paper and write what you would like your husband to try in bed that will satisfy your sexual longing.

Nothing to be shy about since no one is there with you while writing, feel free to write what you long for to spice up your bedroom practical. 

After writing it, put it in an envelop, address it to your lover-boy with his pet name and put it on his pillow in the evening or during the weekend when he will be at home.

Why? Because, it will will send thunder to his body chemistry and the ‘laboratory’ must be ready too. You can also encourage him to write what he really want you to do in bed.

6. Talk with your hands

Most men will be better in sex if only they know what their wives really want in bed.

Sex is not just about chemistry, physics practical is there as well. How? If you find it difficult to say what you want in bed, let your hands do the talking by taking his hand to areas you wants him to touch in your body. 

If you want him to suck your breasts, put it into his mouth and he will get the message.

Repeat it several times until he gets the full gist.

7. Do a demo

The problem most wives have concerning sex is stereotyped mentality that only men should initiate sex with their wives.

This is an error! The wife too can have sex with her husband if she is horny.

Start by demonstrating to him how you want to be kissed, caressed and undressed. Climb him, take his hands to different parts of your erogenous zones that turns you on, show him how you want to be touched and seize the opportunity to tell him what turns you off. 

Most wives do not know that men enjoy sex more when their wives make love to them.

May be you have been telling him and he is not listening, it is time to show him how. Moan, scream as you make love together. This will boost the ego of your husband and he will feel like a man and want to do more.

Don’t be a passive wife in the bedroom lying down like a log of wood, be a bedroom actress! Be the lead and the only actress in your marriage’s bedroom scenes.

8. Send Inquisitive MESSAGES to him

To overcome your shyness, send a text message to him that will make him curious  and push you to talk.

A message like “there’s top secret I need to reveal to you tonight”.

This will make him rush back home and be ready to hear you out. 

Go to the bedroom together with only your lingerie on you, that is erotic. 

For instance, you can start by touching him romantically and say, “do you know that I like it when you stroke my hair gently, massage my back .It  turn me on when you play with my nipple gentle, and my clitoris. I really enjoy sex and sexually fulfilled when you thrusts for long”. The message will sink deep down into him.

9. Make Solutions Ready

In case of any sexual challenges in your spouse like premature ejaculation, don’t condemn him but help and support him by getting the solutions ready.

Encourage him to see a family coach and you can also help him to get information about foods and supplement to use that will improve his sexual stamina.

For men reading this, listen to your wife and be romantic enough to play the game of sex according to your wife’s desire.

Re-invent your sexual life, improve your sex skill if you want your marriage to be fun-filled and healthy.