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Oba Samuel
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  • Men - Husbands

How to help a Frigid Wife love SEX

  • 20 January 2022
  • Oba Samuel
No candy?
Photo by Rendy Novantino on Unsplash
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It can be painful for man to be living with a woman that hates sex.

A frigid wife hates sex, she rarely give-in to her husband’s advances.  Only want sex when she desires and it must be in her own terms .

Sex is enjoyable when both couples want it

If a woman doesn’t want sex, she can come up with countless reasons why she won’t do it.

The following can make a wife frigid:

Not connected to you emotionally

Husband see sex as a way of getting emotionally connected to their wives while wives need  to be emotionally connected first to their husbands before sex.

Recommendation: To get her emotionally connected; Put her first after God & let her know you value her, show interest in what concerns her, her feelings, fears, struggles, worries and dreams.

Preteens warning

Most girls were warned constantly while growing up; “don’t allow any boy touch you, sex will destroy your lives if you give in, only bad girls have sex” These warnings were good at that time but if not reversed while such girls are preparing for marriage, it can create sexual inhibition in them as married women.

Sex is good, for pleasure and enjoyment. It’s not just for procreation. 

Recommendation: Get exposed to marriage books on sex, couples seminar and teachings on marriage by Christians.

Error of the first night

The first experience of sexual intercourse to a virgin on the first night may cause a lot of pain and bruises on the new wife as a result of ignorance on the part of the new husband on how to deflower a virgin.

Recommendation: Both husband and wife need to seek counsel on how to improve their sex life.

Bad Mood

It’s 100% right to have sex when you’re not in the mood. Waiting for sex only when you’re in the mood may spell doom on your marriage.

Tiredness

Stressful job and domestic chores can kill sexual drive in a wife.

Recommendation: Give her helping hand, reduce her stress and she will be active in bedroom.

Rape victim

A woman who was once a rape victim will hate sex. Such a woman need emotional and psychological healing before she can enjoy sex.

Painful sex

A woman who does not derive pleasure in sex due to pain will avoid sex at all cost.

Recommendation: You can put a stop to painful sex through enough foreplay before penetration and the use of lubrication.

Insecurity

If a wife suspect that her husband engage in infidelity, she may develop hatred for sex due to fear of contacting Sexually Transmitted Infections and HIV/AIDS.

Before a wife can release herself willingly for sex, she must have an assurance of security and love of her husband. 

Recommendation: Desist from every acts and appearance of extra-marital affairs.

Medical reactions

Some medical conditions/treatment and drugs can destroy sexual urge in a wife. Such conditions includes: cancer, constant headache. Drugs for birth control pills, chemotherapy, high blood pressure, and depression can cause sexual rigidity in woman.

Lack of satisfaction

A wife may develop aversion for sex if her husband can not satisfy her sexually  due to premature ejaculation. She can switch off because of your under-performance.

Recommendation: If a man is having problem with early ejaculation, please seek help. Private-chat me.

Depression

If she is suffering from depression and trauma as a result of lack of care from the husband, loss of pregnancy, loss of a loved one, unmet expectations can kill her sexual urge. 

A woman’s sex sexual desire is connected to her emotions.

Natural frigidity

You may buy things for her, give her money, do house chores for her and yet she will turn you down sexually, this will get any man angry.

But I want every man to know that there are women who are naturally frigid. Such a woman does not have sexual feelings. Kissing, touching or deep foreplay does not arouse them sexually.

She mostly have sex for procreation and nothing more.

Recommendation: You will need patience, prayer, multiple counsel to be able to tune them on sexually. show her more affection daily

Take it to God in prayer because at times, satan may manipulate a wife to deny her husband sex in order to destroy their marriage.

DANGERS OF FRIGIDITY

All wives should know the consequences of being sexually frigid:

  • Aggression, anger display
  • Emotional disconnection
  • Open doors for cheating, infidelity
  • Your husband can’t be happy. Unhappy husband will seek happiness elsewhere.
  • Waste of resources
  • Exposure to STIs and HIV/AIDS

Note: No marriage can survive without sex. You signed the dotted lines not just to be roommates but sexmates as well.

Please share to all your contacts.

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Oba Samuel

Oba Samuel is the president of Family Enhancers Int'l. A Family and Relationship Coach, Author and hosts of monthly Singles & Married Connect and annual Honeymoon Reloaded for Couples.

Related Topics
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  • wife
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